Stop & Rewind

stoprewind

I thought long and hard about today’s post. I have a lot of things in my life that I would have done differently, knowing what I know now. However I have to say that it actually scares me a bit to think where I would be now and that I wouldn’t be who I am at this point in my life. Every decision I’ve made has gotten me to where I am in my life right now and has made me who I am. A little secret from me?

I am not happy where I am or with who I am. I have so many regrets. I’ve second guessed every choice I’ve made up until this point. Everything from my boyfriends, allowing bullies to get the best of me in grade school, not listening to my parents, dropping out of high school, getting married to my first and second husbands, and so much more. However if I was to choose one moment in my life to redo differently: I would have asked my dad for help when things began going into nightmare mode for me. I would have told him what was happening with being traumatized when I was 8 years old. I believe that was the pivotal moment in my life that led me to make one bad decision after another from that event in my life on. I think If I had of said something and asked for help rather than acting out and blaming it on my mom and I not getting along I’d be settled, happier, and even successful with a job I enjoy, a healthy and happy marriage with a son or daughter.

My mistake was not asking for help!

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